


the meme is now fully functional

by ribosome



Series: group chat from hell [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Getting Together, Group chat, Lesbian Pidge | Katie Holt, Lesbian Romelle (Voltron), M/M, Pansexual Allura (Voltron), Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Summer Vacation, Texting, Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Trans Lance (Voltron), Trans Romelle (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-10-15 21:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17536490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribosome/pseuds/ribosome
Summary: Summer's just begun and the semester has ended, but the foolishness continues.Lancewell im not sure u know this but...i like to read between the lines ;)KeithYou didn’t know I had feelings for you for 8 fucking months





	1. it begins again.

**Author's Note:**

> (rolls in on a hoverboard sipping a cheap vanilla milkshake from mcdonalds) what the fuck is good my dudes
> 
> ok yea we're back in business BUT unfortunately updates will be likely once every month instead of every couple of weeks like in tmtmw. bet you fuckers thought i ghosted after season 8 huh. my spite is stronger than that.
> 
> also!!!!! if anyone is reading this for the first time the only context really needed is the last scene of the last chapter of teamwork makes the meme work. everything else is just implied. 
> 
> enjoy!!

 

* * *

**Takashi Shirogane > Keith Kogane**

 

JUNE 1 AT 9:07 PM

 **Shiro** **  
** You okay?  
Your face was insanely red when I saw you at the campus entrance.

 **Keith** **  
** I'm. cool.  
Cool as ice  
Dry ice  
Straight up solid carbon dioxide

 **Shiro** **  
** Okay then.

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Adam Wakefield**

 

9:09 PM

 **Keith**  
I ,/  
I need to scream to you about somethjng

 **Adam**  
keith i swear to god if this is about takashi mixing your gatorade into his smoothie again i will hang up on you.

 **Keith**  
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT BUT HE KEEPS ON STEALING MY FUCKING GATORADE SO TALK TO YOUR DUMBASS BOYFRIEND AND TELL HIM TO STOP

 

* * *

**Hunk > EDUCATED HOES**

 

9:20 PM

 **Hunk**  
I’m changing the group name in favor of pride month

 **Shiro**  
Go crazy.

_Hunk named the group PROUD HOES._

**Lance**  
its homophobic that classes end when june starts

 **Romelle**  
not for me!! >=(

 **Pidge**  
oof  
glad those days are behind me

 **Lance**  
that moment when ur teacher takes away ur gameboy

 **Keith** **  
** Questionably old console but okay

 **Pidge**  
do you even remember anything about high school

 **Lance**  
dude no joke the day after we graduated i straight up forgot my entire life from age 14 to 17

 **Matt**  
Speaking of which  
I want us all to get nintendo ds’s so we could talk in the chatrooms :(

 **Hunk**  
I gave my old DS to my nephew

 **Lance** **  
** omg me too  
he doesnt use it anymore tho  
motherfucker got a switch for his birthday

 **Allura** **  
** Coran has a Switch lol

 **Lance** **  
** WHAT

 **Hunk**  
HUH?

 **Pidge** **  
** next thing you're gonna say is he has super smash bros ultimate on it

 **Allura** **  
** Well he actually got that game last month

 **Lance** **  
** wwhhzhajaj

 **Pidge** **  
** are you fucking kidding me

 **Hunk** **  
** WE'RE GOING TO CORAN’S HOUSE AT SOME POINT THIS SUMMER BECAUSE WE NEED TO HAVE A SMASH BROS TOURNAMENT

 **Romelle** **  
** omg yes i love playing as bowser!! 🤗

 **Keith** **  
** That is the last character I expected you to main

 **Romelle** **  
** well what's UR main on smash bros?

 **Keith** **  
** Shulk

 **Lance** **  
** of course it is

 **Keith** **  
** What of it?

 **Lance** **  
** giant sword  
need i say more

 **Keith** **  
** What the hell's your main then?

 **Lance** **  
** pikachu or zero suit samus

 **Hunk** **  
** He thinks Samus is hot

 **Lance** **  
** SHE IS

 **Hunk** **  
** My main is Kirby

 **Lance** **  
** hunk is fucking horrible with kirby

 **Hunk** **  
** What! How!!

 **Lance** **  
** ALL U EVER DO IS JUMP INTO THE AIR TO TURN INTO A WEIGHT AND CRUSH ME

 **Hunk** **  
** Well to be fair it works every time  
I have killed many people using that method

 **Allura** **  
** I was an unfortunate victim  
Back in those days when Lance had a Wii 👌😔💯  
My main was Zelda

 **Pidge** **  
** what happened to his wii

 **Lance** **  
** the controller may or may not have flown out of my hand during a game of wii bowling and destroyed the console  
we dont know all the details

 **Keith** **  
** Yeah. Of course.

 **Lance** **  
** ddude do u wana fuckn go

 **Keith** **  
** NO.

 **Romelle** **  
** 👀

 **Matt** **  
** My main was Luigi :)

 **Hunk** **  
** What a beautiful main, babe :)

 **Matt** **  
** Thank you, my eternal morning sun :)

 **Hunk** **  
** Wait is it seriously Luigi  
You went as Luigi for halloween

 **Pidge** **  
** he's fucking obsessed with luigi

 **Matt** **  
** Tall, dark, and handsome 😩🙄👅💦

 **Hunk** **  
** I'm leaving you.

 **Pidge** **  
** well my main was mega man

 **Lance** **  
** thats so cute

 **Pidge** **  
** stop.

 **Lance** **  
** @Takashi Shirogane what is ur smash bros main

 **Keith** **  
** He's never played it

 **Shiro** **  
** Captain Falcon

 **Keith** **  
** Wh.

 **Allura** **  
** Plot twist  
Shiro's a gamer

 **Hunk** **  
** Gaymer

 **Pidge** **  
** wait but like are you a gamer or a Gamer

 **Lance** **  
** only one way to know for sure  
shiro do u believe women deserve rights

 **Shiro** **  
** Yeah.

 **Lance** **  
** ok hes not a Gamer

 **Matt** **  
** Real gamers fight for civil rights babey!

 **Hunk** **  
** Okay now down to business  
We are one hundred percent having a tournament  
It's going to happen  
Coran can't say no to me it's impossible

 **Allura** **  
** Yes he cannn  
Coran only has a soft spot for Lance  
It's everyone ELSE that can't say no to you

 **Hunk** **  
** Wow.  
Low blow.

 **Allura** **  
** He still loves you!

 **Hunk** **  
** Yeah well not more than I love him so

 **Lance** **  
** CORAN HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR ME

 **Allura** **  
** Don't act brand new

 **Lance** **  
** ok fine i already knew but its still fun to hear  
so that means im gonna be the one asking for permission to hold a tournament in his living room

 **Allura** **  
** Yes but don't worry  
He loves chaos

 **Romelle** **  
** who does coran main =o

 **Allura** **  
** He moves down the character selection every time he plays

 **Hunk** **  
** Oh! That terrifies me.

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Lance McClain **

 

JUNE 2 AT 12:05 PM

 **keith**  
Can we  
talk about yesterday

 

12:38 PM

 **lance** **  
** nno  
yes??  
give me some time

 **keith** **  
** However long you need.

 

* * *

**Lance > PROUD HOES**

 

JUNE 3 AT 1:10 PM

 **Lance**  
would u guys judge me if i had a tiktok

 **Pidge** **  
** yeah

 **Shiro** **  
** No.

 **Hunk** **  
** Maybe!

 **Allura** **  
** Depends how you use it

 **Romelle** **  
** no!

 **Matt** **  
** A little

 **Keith** **  
** What the hell is a tik tok

 **Lance** **  
** ok pidge ur doing a duet with me  
i already created an account for u

 **Pidge** **  
** i, what  
please don't

 **Lance** **  
** username is minimonarch666 and password is marijuana

 **Pidge**  
MARI WHAT NOW

 **Lance**  
marijuana like mary jane  
mary jane watson bc u like spiderman :)  
but in spanish to add a little razzle dazzle

 **Shiro**  
Yeah, okay.

 **Keith**  
Why did you send the password in the groupchat

 **Lance**  
bc i trust u guys

 **Pidge**  
your heart is too pure. fix that.

 **Lance**  
NO  
im gonna turn u into a tiktokker

 **Pidge**  
okay. Why Tho.

 **Lance** **  
** but in order to earn that title  
u have to do a hit or miss challenge

 **Pidge**  
what in god’s name is that

 **Allura**  
I don’t know  
But I guess they never miss, huh

_Hunk Garrett has left the group._

_Shiro has left the group._

**Allura**  
RUDE

 **Keith**  
They never miss what

 

* * *

**Katelyn Holt > Hunk Garrett**

 

2:27 PM

 **katieperry**  
can you tell your stupid boyfriend to stop leaving his gum wrappers on my goddamn desk

 **hunkydory**  
Pidge he’s your brother

 **katieperry**  
details.  
tell him to pick them up

 **hunkydory**  
You know I’m pretty sure he’s doing that on purpose to piss you off

 **katieperry**  
SO TELL HIM TO STOP

 **hunkydory**  
I’m not his mom!

 **katieperry**  
come ON  
just bat your eyelashes at him and he’ll get all weak kneed

 **hunkydory**  
Omg stop it  
Fine, I’ll do it  
But only because you flattered me

 **katieperry**  
perfect. thank you.

 

2:59 PM

 **katieperry**  
THANK YOU, MY LORD.

 **hunkydory**  
Just doing what beautiful men do, is all

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

5:00 PM

 **lance**  
ok  
im ready  
come at me

 **keith**  
Oh, uh  
I kind of expected you to take the reigns here

 **lance**  
no. no thx.  
u can go right ahead urself

 **keith**  
Well  
You kissed me first so you should go first

 **lance**  
#@;./,  
well u kissed me second so u should go first

 **keith**  
That  
makes no sense?

 **lance**  
OK.  
OK FINE.  
QUESTION NUMBER 1

 **keith**  
Jfc

 **lance**  
the,,,,,,kiss  
was it. good

 **keith**  
Y,,  
Okay why are you asking that

 **lance**  
U TOLD ME TO TAKE THE REIGNS AND NOW UR QUESTIONING ME

 **keith**  
I was expecting something DIFFERENT

 **lance**  
LIKE??? WHAT????

 **keith**  
LIKE  
I DON’T KNOW  
I DON’T EVEN WANNA TYPE IT OUT

 **lance**  
WHY NOT?.??;

 **keith**  
BECAUSE IT’S EMBARRASSING WHAT THE FUCK

 **lance**  
DUDE WHATSGHDDG  
HOW HAVE U EVER DATED ANYONE BEFORE THIS

 **keith**  
YOU’re  
different

 **lance**  
o.k.  
annyways,,  
TYPE IT OUT BITCH

 **keith**  
Ugh

 **lance**  
SAY IT  
OUT LOUD

 **keith**  
I don’t want to put that kiss behind us because I have feelings for you  
And I hoped you had feelings for me too  
So just tell me right now if you regretted it.

 **lance**  
oosjjjosjsoikddkljkl

 **keith**  
What is that supposed to mean

 **lance**  
quweiueiw  
question:  
how long exactly have these feelings been like  
a thing

 **keith**  
Idk  
It’s been so long I can’t remember not liking you

 **lance**  
OSASLpsdlsfkak

 **keith**  
You’re still not answering my question

 **lance**  
oh right sorry my heart was just fucking screaming  
i like you so much hhksjks  
i want you to be my spicy emo boyfriend

 **keith**  
Okay I’m literally just gonna leave I can’t take another second of this

 **lance**  
COME BACK FJKSKJG

 **keith**  
STOP KEYSMASHING

 **lance**  
I CCANNTTJHHGF

 **keith**  
STOP, SAYING ALL THIS STUFF.  
Why the FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO KISS ME RIGHT BEFORE YOU LEFT

 **lance**  
i dont know ok im not in control of the last few braincells i have left

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Hunk Garrett**

 

5:30 PM

 **Lance** **  
** i know what i want for winning the bet on u cursing

 **Hunk** **  
** Oh god **  
** I've been dreading this day for like 4 months **  
** What did you decide on?

 **Lance** **  
** well...

 

* * *

**Adam Wakefield > Takashi Shirogane**

 

5:32 PM

 **Adam**  
do you and keith wanna stay at my place for a few days?  
i could pick you guys up tomorrow.

 **Takashi**  
I’ll let my mom know.

 **Adam**  
she already said it was okay, you fucking momma’s boy.

 **Takashi**  
I’m not...a momma’s boy.

 **Adam**  
your dad told me that when you visit, you and her still have slumber parties in the living room without him.  
he feels left out.

 **Takashi**  
Oh my god WHAT.  
Does Keith know about that?

 **Adam**  
keith has known about it for years he just doesn’t give a shit.  
speaking of keith, something may have...happened a few days ago.  
we’ll talk about it when we’re all together. it’s a big deal to him.

 **Takashi**  
What? Why didn’t he just tell me?

 **Adam**  
he said he wanted to talk about it in person. the three of us.

 **Takashi**  
Okay.  
Can I please just know what it is.  
Please.

 **Adam**  
no, that’s his business.  
it took me six years to gain that kid’s trust and i’m not cracking now.

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

5:42 PM

 **lance**  
so when u say u have feelings for me are we talking like Feelings Feelings or

 **keith**  
Lance.

 **lance**  
i just wanna be sure!!!

 **keith**  
I have real, genuine feelings for you

 **lance**  
O;H WORM,?

 **keith**  
Please don’t.  
Are we,, actually like  
An item now

 **lance**  
i wasnt joking when i said i wanted you to be my spicy emo boyfriend

 **keith**  
Ughj

 **lance**  
so like what exactly made you develop feelings for me

 **keith**  
UGH

 **lance**  
look id call u but im like vibrating with excitement and i dont trust my voice not to crack  
so i need u to type all this out bc i need the validation

 **keith**  
Alright fine  
I jus  
DO I REALLY HAVE TO TYPE IT OUT

 **lance**  
PLEASE

 **keith**  
FUCK’S sake  
OKAY  
Um  
Do you remember on Hunk’s birthday when we gave each other really aggressive compliments

 **lance**  
...yes

 **keith**  
Yeah.

 **lance**  
...YEAH?

 **keith**  
YEAH THAT STUFF FACTORED INTO MY FEELINGS FOR YOU

 **lance**  
im gonna need a quick reminder to refresh my memory 👀

 **keith**  
Alright fuck you  
You have soft skin and you’re sweet and kind and considerate and your smile makes me want to punch something  
But

 **lance**  
hhhhhjshhf  
BUT?

 **keith**  
You also  
Make me feel like I’m enough?  
I don’t know  
I just feel like I don’t have to be something I’m not  
with you  
Because even if I’m grumpy or boring you still want to be around me  
And you’re really cute

 **lance**  
fuck everything i just said please call me

 _keith called lance._ _  
_ _33 mins 16 secs._

 **lance**  
how fucking Dare  
i dont care if ur my dumbass boyfriend now i WILL destroy u at uno one day

 **keith**  
Yeah sure buddy

 **lance**  
mark my fucking worms

 **keith**  
Please tell me that was a typo.

 


	2. cracking open a hot one with the girls

 

* * *

**Veronica McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

JUNE 4 AT 4:09 PM

 **Veronica  
** Lance just told me you two are becoming an official thing  
congrats!

 **Keith  
** Thanks  
Even though I'm pretty sure you figured we would after, you know,  
That.

 **Veronica  
**after catching you two sucking face in the middle of the street

 **Keith  
**Okay I wouldn't have said it like that but yes

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Krolia Seung**

 

5:05 PM

 **Lance** **  
** i w  
i would like your blessing

 **Krolia** **  
** What.

 **Lance** **  
** i would like your blessing to date your son

 **Krolia** **  
**?I thought? you were already dating him?

 **Lance** **  
** ohm y god is that a YES

 **Krolia** **  
** I suppose so.

 **Lance** **  
** EEHDDJJSJD  
in that case i need your help with something important  
it involves keith

 **Krolia** **  
** Hold on.  
Are we conspiring.

 **Lance** **  
** yes

 **Krolia** **  
** Oh fuck yes. Im in. I dont care what it is.

 **Lance** **  
** like mother like son jfc

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Takashi Shirogane**

 

8:07 PM

 **Keith** **  
** Shiro

 **Shiro**  
Don’t talk to me.

 **Keith**  
Dude

 **Shiro**  
I’m mad at you.

 **Keith**  
For WHAT

 **Shiro**  
Leave me ALONE.

 **Keith**  
STOP BEING A PISSBABY JUST BECAUSE I DIDN’T TELL YOU ABOUT LANCE RIGHT AWAY

 **Shiro**  
You just don’t understand.  
I watched the love blossom between you two for almost an entire year...and to take away the very moment that solidified those feelings?  
AND TO TELL ADAM INSTEAD OF ME?  
Unbelievable.

 **Keith**  
It wasn’t even that big of a deal it was just a kiss

 **Shiro**  
Keith you said you squealed in the middle of the street.

 **Keith**  
SCREAMED  
NOT SQUEALED

 **Shiro**  
The point is you broke my heart. Goodbye.

 **Keith**  
Look I wanted you to know before anyone else  
But ever since we became friends with everyone else you’ve turned into a fucking gossip machine  
I needed Adam to mediate you

 **Shiro**  
That’s just.  
Not true.

 **Keith**  
Oh?  
Okay. Sure.

 **Shiro**  
I don’t like the way you said that.

 **Keith**  
We’re texting

 **Shiro**  
I don’t like the way the Keith in my mind said that.

 

* * *

**Lance > PROUD HOES**

 

8:20 PM

_Lance McClain removed Keith Kogane._

**Lance**  
attention  
i would like to introduce u all to my boyfriend

 **Pidge**  
your WHAT

_Lance McClain added Keith Kogane._

**Allura**  
AKLFJFJAE;FJA’

 **Romelle**  
ohhohohohhho WOW

 **Matt**  
Has it been 80 years already

 **Lance**  
shut UP

 **Hunk**  
YyOEUIENWHHWHT

 **Lance**  
yes hunk

 **Allura**  
I a,m so PHUCKING happy for you two

 **Pidge**  
wait are you guys for real  
or is this just a joke

 **Keith**  
No  
We are actually. a thing now

 **Pidge**  
oh

 

* * *

**Katelyn Holt > Keith Kogane**

 

8:23 PM

 **green light**  
ARE YOU DEADASS BRO

 **red light**  
I’M SO FCUKING DEADASS

 **green light**  
you secured the FUCKING bag

 **red light**  
YES THE FUCK I DID

 

* * *

**Pidge > PROUD HOES**

 

8:24 PM

 **Pidge**  
cool shit my dudes

 **Keith**  
So will you guys kindly validate my claim that Shiro has become a terrible gossiper

 **Allura**  
Of course he has  
I tricked him into drinking tea last week because he distracted himself gossiping about his coworker’s divorce

 **Shiro**  
YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE.

 **Matt**  
That you gossiped about your coworker??

 **Allura**  
That he drank tea

 **Shiro**  
We’re diverting.  
Anyways,  
Back to Keith and Lance.

 **Keith**  
Yeah. Thought so.

 **Hunk**  
OKAY CAN WE GET LIKE AN EXPLANATION OR SOMETHING PLEASE  
I’M REALLY!!!!!! EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 **Keith**  
He kissed me and now we’re dating  
That’s it

 **Lance**  
zoinks

 **Allura**  
There was a KISS

 **Hunk**  
EMERGENCY SKYPE GROUPCALL RIGHT FREAKING NOW

 

* * *

– Monday, June 4, 2018, 8:36 PM –

 **_Shining Light_ ** _to “_ _This never would’ve happened if you’d just admitted that my gun noises were better than yours Shiro. Seriously my gun noises were the best and you’re all just bitter.”_

 **_in beyonce we trust_ ** _added_ **_it’s me romelle =D_ **

 

 **Shining Light**  
Is everyone ready?

 **it's me romelle =D  
**yes!

 **1-800-MOTHMAN**  
Yeah  
Shiro’s not gonna join but he might make a cameo in my screen

 **allurabura**  
Why not

 **1-800-MOTHMAN**  
He’s cuddling with Adam and he doesn’t want to get up

 **allurabura**  
Oh my goodness. Gay.

 **in beyonce we trust**  
wow. they r my heart and soul  
also im not joining in today

 **Shining Light**  
WHY NOT???!?!?!

 **in beyonce we trust**  
because.

 **1-800-MOTHMAN**  
Is it because of the pimple on your chin

 **in beyonce we trust**  
COME ON KEITH

 **1-800-MOTHMAN**  
Um  
Sorry.  
I apologize.

 **Shining Light**  
Omg your first couple’s fight I’m sobbing

 **in beyonce we trust**  
uh  
ur forgiven??

 **Shining Light  
** But dude pls join  
I wanna talk to you :(

 **in beyonce we trust  
**i Am Not Ready.

 **pidge fuck!  
**10 minutes is more than enough time to cover it up with concealer

 **in beyonce we trust  
** LOOK  
ITLL BE THE FIRST TIME KEITH AND I ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER SINCE WE BECAME A THING AND MY HEART CANT TAKE IT YET

 **1-800-MOTHMAN  
**HHhzhhfhhfhhhfhhh

 **Shining Light  
** Okay I can excuse that  
Keith, are you in

 **1-800-MOTHMAN  
**Yep yeah sure

 **Shining Light  
**I am so f*cking ready to hear this tea

 **pidge fuck!  
**hunk why are you censoring yourself again

 **Shining Light  
**DON'T QUESTION ME

 

– 8:46 PM –

**Call started**

**_Shining Light_ ** _,_ **_allurabura_ ** _,_ **_1-800-MOTHMAN_ ** _,_ **_pidge fuck!_ ** _,_ **_it's me romelle =D_ ** _,_ **_macaroni salad_ ** _joined the call._

 

– 9:31 PM –

 **Call ended** 45m 18s

 

 **macaroni salad  
**Did you end the call because i said keith and lance could be a riverdale couple

 **allurabura  
**Yes

 

* * *

**Katelyn, Allura, Romelle, Shay**

 

JUNE 10 AT 11:00 AM

_Katelyn started the group._

**Katelyn**  
hey

 **Shay**  
what is this new group!

 **Allura**  
I’m not surprised  
We have like a million groupchats at this point

_Katelyn Holt set their own nickname to Pidge._

_Pidge named the group No Boyz Allowed._

**Romelle**  
lol  
BIG FAT MOODETH

 **Pidge**  
sometimes i just like your energies more than the guys’

 **Allura**  
I can’t blame you  
We are more put together than the boys.

 **Romelle**  
_[image sent]_ _  
_ HHEHEHEYEYY  
MEME SHMEME TIME  
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Allura**  
Romelle you are not helping my case here

 **Romelle**  
sorry new things just excite me!!

 **Shay**  
omg me too.

 **Romelle**  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
HI SHAY I’M ROMELLE

 **Shay**  
i’ve heard :)

 **Romelle**  
good things or bad things??  
bc my friends like to INCRIMINATE me and my trust in them is waning.

 **Allura**  
Okay but how does someone break an espresso machine just by looking at it

 **Romelle**  
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

 **Shay**  
good things!  
allura, hunk, and lance speak highly of you.

 **Romelle**  
really!!!!!  
oh...my love for them is growing again.

 **Pidge**  
glad you kids are getting along nicely.  
we got a positive wlw space going for us here.

 **Allura**  
Oh! Can I add Veronica?

 **Pidge**  
who is that

 **Allura**  
Ronnie

 **Pidge**  
ohhh lance’s sister.  
is she wlw

 **Allura  
**She’s the most lesbian lesbian to ever lesbian

 **Pidge  
**i thought she was cuban

_Allura Altea added Veronica McClain._

**Veronica**  
owo what’s this

 **Pidge**  
yeah that’s definitely lance’s sister.

 **Allura**  
Hey Veronica

 **Shay**  
hey veronica!!

 **Romelle**  
HI VERONICA I’M ROMELLE

 **Veronica**  
hey guys.  
HI ROMELLE I’M VERONICA

 **Romelle**  
=D

 **Pidge**  
please just use emojis

 **Veronica**  
Pidge...PIDGE  
I remember you

 **Pidge**  
yeah i was skyping lance that time you walked into his room to burp at him

 **Veronica**  
I’m a responsible adult I swear  
so what am I here for exactly?

 **Allura**  
Feminine aligned energy

 **Veronica**  
oh  
energy? feminine aligned you say?

 **Pidge**  
hell yes

 **Veronica**  
hmm  
so  
i happened to have heard of a feminine aligned friend of yours

 **Allura**  
Oh GOD

 **Veronica**  
zip it Allura  
so I was just wondering.....you know.....

 **Allura**  
Gay

 **Veronica**  
perish.

 **Romelle**  
idgi what’s going on here!!

 **Allura**  
She wants to add Acxa

 **Romelle**  
oh  
she’s scary.

 **Veronica**  
I know  
I want her to break my fucking ankles

 **Shay**  
i’m sorry your what

 **Pidge**  
i’m gonna report you for being horny on main

 **Veronica**  
Allura, add Acxa

 **Allura**  
Why should I?

 **Veronica**  
DO IT BEFORE PIDGE THANOSES ME OUT OF EXISTENCE

_Allura Altea added Acxa Quintana._

**Romelle**  
score!

 **Veronica  
** oh my gosh, what a coincidence!  
hi Acxa, cool to see you again! virtually!

 **Romelle  
**hi acxa i'm romelle :)

 **Acxa  
**Hi

 **Allura  
**You and Veronica already know each other?

 **Acxa  
**Yeah

 **Veronica  
**we met when I visited Lance to take him home for winter break

 **Acxa  
** Yes  
She came to the Campus Center and tripped when she passed by the yoga room I was in

 **Allura  
**Of course she did

 **Veronica  
** lol  
okay moving on

 **Acxa  
**What is this

 **Pidge  
**a group full of feminine aligned energy

 **Acxa  
** Oh  
Cool

 **Allura  
**I still need to ask if you want to join the GSA

 **Acxa  
** Well I wasn't too keen on it due to the fact that I was confused about my orientation at the time  
It seemed like I was fluctuating between bisexuality and homosexuality

 **Allura  
**You do know the “Q” in LGBTQIA+ also stands for Questioning, right

 **Acxa  
** Yeah whatever  
I just personally wanted to be certain before I decided on anything  
I’m quite sure I'm bisexual now

 **Shay  
**good for you!

 **Veronica  
**god is real

 **Allura  
**So thoughts on joining the club?

 **Acxa  
**I'll do it

 **Pidge  
**that’s great but won't it be a little awkward for you to be around lotor?

 **Acxa  
** I'll live  
I need to branch out anyway

 **Veronica  
** that's commendable  
if I was still a student I'd join too

 **Acxa  
** What  
You never said you were an alumni

 **Veronica  
**bachelor's in aerospace engineering babey

 **Acxa  
** Wow  
I staved off college after high school but I came back when I turned 21 to get my Bachelor's in Combat Systems Engineering

 **Veronica  
**jj..jesus.ch..christ.

 **Acxa  
**Is that bad

 **Veronica  
** NO  
picture me saying it admiringly

 **Acxa  
** Thank you Veronica  
You're admirable yourself  
In a lot of. ways.

 **Romelle  
**👀

 **Allura  
**Yeah you belong in the GSA

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

JUNE 6 AT 3:30 PM

 **lance**  
_[image sent]_

 **keith💕**  
Cool meme

 **lance**  
hwat  
u hate when i send u texas memes

 **keith💕**  
Well  
Now I don't  
It's funny.

 **lance**  
u once threatened to fight me behind an arby's when i sent u a picture of ur face over sandy cheeks when she sang the home song in that one spongebob episode

 **keith💕**  
Whatever  
I don’t have a problem with it

 **lance**  
........ok partner

 

* * *

**Allura > PROUD HOES**

 

JUNE 9 AT 11:02 AM

 **Allura**  
Anyone want to join Shay and I at the movie theatre?

 **Pidge**  
me

 **Allura**  
I didn’t even say what movie we were watching!

 **Pidge**  
idc i want to hang out with you guys

 **Allura**  
My heart soars for you.

 **Shiro**  
Crazy how you asked to hang out not long after Keith and I went home for the summer.

 **Allura**  
I finally have the TIME okay

 **Keith**  
Insane

 **Allura**  
I love you both to pieces but your movie preferences are terrible

 **Romelle**  
i want to go!!!  
what movie is it!?

 **Allura**  
Deadpool 2

 **Keith**  
Are you FUCKING kidding me  
I WANTED TO SEE THAT

 **Shiro**  
Well. It’s a little inappropriate?

 **Matt**  
Exactly  
Count me in

 **Romelle**  
since we r all above 18...or 17 in pidge's case...u are overruled shiro.

 **Shiro**  
I’m just kidding, Adam and I saw it last weekend.

 **Keith**  
WHAT  
YOU ASSHOLES TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO A BINGO NIGHT AT THE LOCAL SENIOR CENTER

 **Hunk**  
Whslskdffksks  
It’s ALSO unfair that Lance and I aren’t there to tag along

 **Matt** **  
** I'll think of you the whole time

 **Hunk** **  
** Not the same! Don't sweet talk me!

 **Matt** **  
** YOU LOVE BEING SWEET TALKED TO

 **Hunk** **  
** THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN USE IT AGAINST ME

 **Matt** **  
**...Touche

 **Hunk** **  
** Please stop saying that PLEASE

 **Allura** **  
** What's wrong with the word touché

 **Pidge** **  
** he's been pronouncing it like “coochie” all fucking week

 **Allura** **  
** Matt.

 **Matt** **  
** Sorry that none of you have a FUNNY BONE

 **Lance** **  
** hunk brings up an excellent point by the way  
these plans sprung up rather.........ASCEDNENTISINGLY?

 **Shiro** **  
** What the hell is that supposed to say.

 **Lance** **  
** ur plans are Nothing without my presence.

 **Pidge  
**we'll be just fine without you.

 **Lance  
** oh rlly? whos gonna lift u up when u cant see the screen above someones head?  
shorty?  
shortstack?  
shorty mcshortshorts?

 **Pidge  
**i will literally destroy you

 **Lance  
**u never follow thru with that. u even have shorthanded threats

 **Pidge  
**we'll have fun BECAUSE you aren't there asshole

 **Lance  
** fine then im having a movie night by myself  
Netflix And Chill By My Lonesome  
that is if keith didnt delete everything in my fucking list again

 **Shiro  
**Keith I'm taking you off my plan.

 **Keith  
** DUDE I SAID NOT TO  
I STILL USE OUR ACCOUNT

 **Shiro  
** Yet you only use Lance's.  
Hypocrite.

 **Lance  
** well technically its ronnies account  
she even made keith his own profile last month

 **Keith  
**Okay so I use their account from time to time big fucking deal

 **Hunk  
** You two should've started dating immediately after Lance gave you his account info  
That's like a romantic rite of passage

 **Matt  
**It took you 2 months to share your hulu with me

 **Hunk  
**Because we established we were going to go STEADY

 **Keith  
**I would go into Lance's profile from time to time to mess with his list

 **Lance  
** SPEAKING OF WHICH  
ARE U THE REASON I HAVE LIKE 5 NEW DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT THE COLD WAR IN MY LIST

 **Keith  
** Uh  
Yeah

 **Lance  
** jesus mary and joseph im gonna kick ur ass  
STOP THIS SHIT

 **Keith  
**Do you want me to

 **Lance  
**WELL...i guess??

 **Keith  
** Okay  
I'll stop

 **Lance  
**oh. well alright

 **Matt  
**So does anybody in this groupchat play fortnite

 

* * *

**Hunk Garrett > Lance McClain**

 

11:21 AM

 **Hunk  
** Do you feel like Pidge is being meaner than usual?  
Or is that just me

 **Lance  
** no?  
shes acting the same to all of us

 **Hunk  
** I don't mean to everyone else  
I mean to you

 **Lance  
** ohh  
no dude u know thats just how we are

 **Hunk  
** Well yeah of course, but  
It's just starting to seem a little more,,,serious?

 **Lance  
** well  
i guess she can get a little aggressive from time to time  
but thats just how she shows affection in her own little pidge way

 **Hunk  
**It shouldn't be that way if your feelings are getting hurt

 **Lance  
**woahh woah who said my feelings are hurt

 **Hunk  
**No one, but I worry sometimes!

 **Lance  
**i appreciate that, but its no big deal

 **Hunk  
** Well okay  
I just know you tend let people off the hook really easily  
So don't be afraid to tell her if it's bothering you

 **Lance  
** yeah  
of course

 

* * *

**Takashi Shirogane > Keith Kogane**

 

5:11 PM

 **Shiro**  
I have a question, and I mean this in the nicest way possible,  
What is up with you?

 **Keith**  
Wtf  
What do you mean

 **Shiro**  
Well.  
I can’t help but notice, ever since you and Lance started dating, you’ve been acting a little...different.

 **Keith**  
Different

 **Shiro**  
Yes, like...nice.  
You’re being nicer to him.  
Maybe that’s not the right word for it.  
Compliant.  
You’re being compliant!

 **Keith**  
Isn’t that a good thing??

 **Shiro**  
Well, yeah, I guess.  
But you just don’t seem like,  
Yourself.

 **Keith**  
I am myself  
Idk what you’re concerned about here

 **Shiro**  
Keith the only reason I’m bringing it up is because Lance came to me about it.

 **Keith**  
What??

 **Shiro**  
I didn’t wanna intervene and he didn’t wanna say anything but then he,  
Well it doesn’t matter what he did, but he got me to bring it up to you.

 **Keith**  
O......kay  
Me being “nicer” doesn’t really seem like something Lance would have a problem with

 **Shiro**  
So then talk to him about it.

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Lance McClain**

 

5:25 PM

 **keith💕**  
Shiro’s telling me you think I’m acting weird or something

 **lance**  
well u are

 **keith💕**  
Oh

 **lance**  
not in a bad way!!!

 **keith💕**  
Then in what way?

 **lance**  
idk, its just.  
ok.  
honestly i feel like i know what ur trying to do and its so sweet and cute of you but you need to Stop That

 **keith💕**  
You just, called me cute  
Wait what the fuck  
Why is it a bad thing that I’m being nicer to you??

 **lance**  
its not a bad thing  
listen to me  
you dont have to act a certain way for me to like you  
or to be a good boyfriend or whatever!!  
because i like you and i love the way we are  
i mean you said it yourself. you dont have to be something youre not with me  
if i ever had a real problem with anything you did i would bring it up in a heartbeat bc i trust you to work it out with me

 **keith💕**  
D,  
Don't use my words against me

 **lance**  
DONT IGNORE MY HEARTFELT MESSAGES

 **keith💕**  
I am really sorry  
And I mean that  
I guess I was just, you know, overthinking it

 **lance**  
u didnt do anything wrong!  
i just love everything that makes us...us, you know ............hubby

 **keith💕**  
You KNOW I HATE THAT WORD

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the kudos and comments omg, yall are............effervescent
> 
> see u in a few weeks 💪😩💕


	3. gay birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. the superbowl was crazy huh?? sweet victory my ass.

* * *

**Leilani Morales > Hunk Garrett**

 

JUN 14 AT 8:09 PM

 **Leilani**  
dad told me what he wants you to give him for Father’s Day

 **Hunk**  
What is it!!!

 **Leilani**  
HE WANTS TO MEET YOUR BOYFRIEND :D

 **Hunk**  
Did he say that or did you ask him to say that he said that

 **Leilani**  
COME ON  
He was so cute when I met him on Mother’s Day  
but really everybody wants to meet him, not just me  
why don’t you want him to come :(

 **Hunk**  
I’m not ashamed of you guys or anything  
You just all know too many embarrassing things about ME  
And I make fun of him for being embarrassing all the time

 **Leilani**  
you two are gonna make four months tomorrow!!  
We’ve been very patient

 **Hunk**  
Okay that's true

 **Leilani**  
I mean you’ve met his family right?

 **Hunk**  
That’s different!!  
I knew them way before Matt and I became a couple

 **Leilani**  
just think about it PLZZZZZZ  
or I’ll just give Lance a wig and tell him to pose as Matt

 **Hunk**  
I wouldn’t put it past him to agree to that

 

* * *

**Katelyn Holt > Lance McClain**

 

9:19 PM

 **pidgeypidge**  
send me those links you found earlier  
on climate change  
i’m putting a folder together for when we see lotor next semester

 **lanceylance**  
sure.  
_[link sent]_ _  
_ _[link sent]_

 **pidgeypidge**  
thanks

 **lanceylance**  
yw

 **pidgeypidge** **  
** okay  
i don't know if i'm just pulling this out of my ass but you're kinda giving me a weird vibe right now

 

9:41 PM

 **lanceylance**  
do i really annoy you

 

9:48 PM

 **pidgeypidge**  
what??

 **lanceylance**  
do i annoy you.

 **pidgeypidge**  
is that what's bothering you?

 **lanceylance**  
okkk so that just tells me that i do. nice.

 **pidgeypidge**  
wtf dude  
no  
do i genuinely come off that way??

 **lanceylance**  
thats like asking if the sky is blue

 **pidgeypidge**  
oh

 **lanceylance**  
ok im just gonna go to sleep

 **pidgeypidge**  
hold on i just  
didn't know it upset you that much  
i thought that was just like our...unspoken dynamic?

 **lanceylance**  
it is  
and i love being like a teasing older brother to you and everything bc you know  
ive always been the youngest  
but there are just times where it seems like youre not......joking

 **pidgeypidge**  
really?

 **lanceylance**  
wouldnt bring it up if it didnt seem that way so

 **pidgeypidge**  
sorry sorry  
i just never noticed that it like, bothered you  
um

 **lanceylance**  
honestly we dont have to talk about this right now if ur not up to it

 **pidgeypidge**  
wait HOLD ON  
i'm JUST  
BAD AT THIS.

 **lanceylance**  
Okay, Pal.

 **pidgeypidge**  
i'm ssorry  
i didn't think any of my joking would like,, hurt you,  
which seems kinda dumb now in hindsight

 **lanceylance**  
oh wow  
breaking ur genius mode lol

 **pidgeypidge**  
i really love you  
like a lot  
i mean sure you piss me off but not...seriously  
and definitely not because of who you are

 **lanceylance**  
lmao#

 **pidgeypidge**  
okay yeah  
i am not reassured that you received my end of the conversation that well.

 **lanceylance**  
no i did hhdjdj  
dude i love u so much  
sometimes the mean comments just get to me ya know  
and coming from someone i care about makes it hurt a little more!!!

 **pidgeypidge**  
i'm really sorry what hte fuc.k.

 **lanceylance**  
im still gonna bother u  
but just. go easy on me sometimes

 **pidgeypidge**  
i can promise you i’ll be more mindful

 **lanceylance**  
OK  
ON THAT NOTE  
_[image sent]_  
receipts for the future  
pidge sed she luvs me

 **pidgeypidge**  
you’re literally not making this easy at all

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Lance McClain**

 

JUN 15 AT 10:02 AM

 **keith💕**  
Have you like  
Told your parents about me

 **lance**  
why good morning to u too keith  
yes i have

 **keith💕**  
Cool. Cool.  
Nice.

 **lance**  
i can feel u freaking out from 3 states away  
but its not like theyve never met u before  
remember that time u talked to my dad on the phone

 **keith💕**  
Okay that was like 7 months ago and it was because you needed me to hold the phone while you had a mental breakdown over your finals  
And I was also not dating you back then

 **lance**  
.......those are very good points  
but ive talked about u to them so much that its like theyve known u forever anyway

 **keith💕**  
You’ve  
talked about me

 **lance**  
the point is my parents already like u  
and once they meet u theyll ADORE u

 **keith💕**  
Okay  
I’ll trust your judgement

 **lance**  
:O noice  
off topic but i was thinking of calling u a cute new petname

 **keith💕**  
I’m only letting you do this petname shit because it makes you happy  
So don’t push it

 **lance**  
since u love hippos  
will u be the moto moto to my gloria

 **keith💕**  
I’m going to snap your Madagascar dvd in half

 **lance**  
moto moto appears in madagascar 2 you FRAUD

 **keith💕**  
SAME DIFFERENCE

 

* * *

**Hunk Garrett > Matthew Holt**

 

10:20 AM

 **Hunk**  
Happy 4 months how come you’ve never asked to meet my family

 

10:39 AM

 **mattysmokes**  
What,,

 **Hunk**  
I just like wanna know  
Just curious

 **mattysmokes**  
You’re the most oblivious man i’ve ever met

 **Hunk**  
Answer the question!!

 **mattysmokes**  
Do you even...remember how excited i was to meet your sister

 **Hunk**  
Well

 **mattysmokes**  
Or the time i "casually" mentioned it would be cool to drive you home last month  
and the month before that  
and the week before THAT

 **Hunk**  
Okay,

 **mattysmokes**  
And you declined each time!!  
I could not have been more obvious than that

 **Hunk**  
Well now you just made me feel dumb :(

 **mattysmokes**  
You’re not dumb holy FUCK you gorgeous genius  
I just didn’t want to pressure you  
Because you tend to take,,,a very long time to feel comfortable with things  
But i highkey lowkey highkey really really wanna meet them

 **Hunk**  
OH.  
COOL.

 **mattysmokes**  
You don’t have to be afraid of anything  
They were the ones that raised you so i already owe them my life

 **Hunk**  
Alright thanks I need to go. scream.

 **mattysmokes**  
Ok have fun honeycomb

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Takashi Shirogane**

 

JUN 17 AT 9:05 AM

 **Keith** **  
** Happy father's day  
Oh crap wrong parent

 **Shiro** **  
** Keith this is getting old.

 **Keith** **  
** Like you? I know

 **Shiro** **  
** You little shit.

 

* * *

**Allura Altea > Coran Smythe**

 

9:07 AM

 **Allura** **  
** Happy Father's Day!!!  
🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡  
I love you!!

 **Coran** **  
** OH My Goodness, you’ve used the orange hearts.  
IS IT BECAUSE OF MY HAIR? BECAUSE I’M A GINGER?

 **Allura** **  
** Yes

 **Coran** **  
** THAT’S SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

 

* * *

**Matt > Holt Up**

 

9:10 AM

 **Matt**  
Dad i LOVE YOU

 **Katie**  
DAD I LOVJF  
ooH SCREW YOU

 **Matt**  
Lol beat u to it

 **Katie**  
i love him more than any man on this earth

 **Matt**  
Fine katiebug you win

 **Katie**  
ONLY DAD IS ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT

 **Colleen**  
but I call you Katiebug too.

 **Katie**  
and mom. only dad and mom.

 **Sam**  
Thanks for the declarations of love  
My little sugarpops

 **Matt**  
Dad i’m going to be 21 in three months please stop calling me a sugarpop

 **Sam**  
Also why are we texting  
I am right down the hall

 **Katie**  
matt took me the gas station so we could get you guys smoothies before he leaves to see hunk

 **Sam**  
Those smoothies give me the runs and you know that.

 **Katie**  
are you just gonna reject :( a gift given to you :( by your youngest child :( that loves you dearly :(

 **Matt**  
Real nice, dad :(

 **Sam**  
Evil incarnates!!! Both of you!!!!!!

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Luis McClain**

 

9:25 AM

 **Lance**  
happy fathers day bro  
oh and i wrote a really heartfelt message for papi, could u forward it to him?  
de acuerdo con todas las leyes conocidas de la aviacion, no hay manera de que una abeja puede volar. sus alas son demasiado pequenas para obtener su cuerpo poco gordo de la tierra. la abeja, por supuesto, vuela de todos modos porque a las abejas no les importa lo que los humanos piensan que es imposible.

 **Luis**  
You are on thin fucking ice Lance

 

* * *

**podge > Disgustening.**

 

JUN 23 AT 11:20 PM

 **podge** **  
** remember how we said it was convenient that half of our birthdays are during breaks so that way we don't have to throw parties every time

 **honk** **  
** You were the only one that said that

 **podge** **  
** anyways i take it back  
i used to hate parties and gatherings but they're fun with you guys  
and we can't even do one for allura because we aren't all together

 **lonce** **  
** i KNOW and it fuckin sucks

 **koith** **  
** Okay hold on

_koith removed lonce._

**koith** **  
** What if we do a joint birthday party next month

 **shoro**  
You mean for both Lance and Allura?

 **koith** **  
** Yes

 **honk** **  
** Ohhhh that would be so cute!!

 **romolle** **  
** =o it could be pink and blue themed!!!

 **mott** **  
** Isn't lance's family already throwing him a party?

 **honk** **  
** Yeah but his parents love Allura!  
They'd be down to do it

 **koith** **  
** Okay sounds good  
Can you ask them about it sometime this weekend

 **honk** **  
** Why can't you?

 **koith** **  
** Wdym

 **honk** **  
** I mean you're his boyfriend now, so

 **koith** **  
** Well  
You're his best friend

 **podge** **  
** omg are you scared they won't like you

 **koith** **  
** Omg how about we change the subject

 **shoro**  
Omg you’re diverting.

 **honk**  
Omg the drama

 **romolle**  
omg this is so funny

 **mott**  
Omg i left the oven on and now my fucking pizza rolls are burning

 

* * *

**Hunk > PROUD HOES**

 

JUN 24 AT 12:00 AM

 **Hunk** **  
** GOOD MORNING TO ALL ON THIS BEAUTIFUL BLESSED DAY  
THAT MARKS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF ALLURA'S BIRTH

 **Romelle** **  
** 💝💝💝!!!!!  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLURA!!!!!!!!

 **Shiro** **  
** Happy birthday Allura you're the only bitch in the house that I ever respected.

 **Keith** **  
** Whhtthshshd

 **Pidge** **  
** happy birthgay.

 **Matt** **  
** Happy birthdya i’m cryingdjsf

 **Pidge** **  
** jesus

 **Lance** **  
** this is my favorite day of the year

 **Keith** **  
** Happy birthday kween

 **Lance**  
.....baby boy..........pls never say that again

 **Pidge**  
don’t listen to him PLEASE say that multiple times forever

 **Allura** **  
** Thank you all so much!! what the heck!!  
I LOVE you hoes with every fiber in my being

 **Matt** **  
** Welcome to your twenties  
It's going to be a weird time

 **Keith** **  
** Dude you're like barely past 20

 **Matt** **  
** Shhh don't question it

 **Shiro** **  
** Allura will be just fine.  
If there's anyone that’s ready to grow, it's her.

 **Allura** **  
** LOL  
Thank you Shiro  
Your optimism is greatly appreciated

 

* * *

**delicioso > brown & beautiful**

 

12:15 AM

 **delicioso** **  
** aaaallllluuuurrrraaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **queen** **  
** Omg you're so obsessed with me

 **delicioso** **  
** that is Correct

 **shae** **  
** happy birthday!  
i love you so much 💖💖

 **queen** **  
** I love you too oh my goodness

 **shae** **  
** i got flag capes for us to wear at the lgbt festival they're throwing today!!  
it was going to be a surprise but i'm bad at keeping secrets :(

 **queen** **  
**!! I was hoping you'd mention that bc I really wanted to go but I didn't know if you'd be busy later!!!!!

 **shae** **  
** why would i be busy today. it's a national holiday.

 **itshunkbaybee** **  
** Do people have the day off for Pride?

 **shae** **  
** i was talking about allura's birthday

 **itshunkbaybee** **  
** Why are you such a goddamn intellectual

 **queen** **  
** My GOD you absolute saps

 **shae** **  
** so the pride festival is a go??

 **queen** **  
** A THOUSAND TIMES YES

 **delicioso** **  
** our neighborhood doesnt have any big events for pride today which is just downright homophobic  
so i hope u lovely ladies have fun 😘

 **itshunkbaybee** **  
** Speaking of which!  
I made a rainbow cake last night and I was gonna ask if you want me and Leilani to come over and eat it with you guys

 **delicioso** **  
** thats a big fat yes from me  
ronnie and luis really wanted to do smth for pride today so theyll probably be excited for that

 **shae** **  
** your brother's lgbt?  
you never mentioned that before!!

 **delicioso** **  
** where do u think i got all my bi behavior from

 **queen** **  
** That's the Bi subset of the Gay Agenda

 **delicioso** **  
** oh u havent heard? being gay is genetic babey!

 

* * *

**Hunk > PROUD HOES**

 

12:06 PM

 **Hunk**  
Seeing everyone's posts about the Pride Parade is making me bitter and jealous

 **Romelle**  
same!!!!!!! TT_TT

 **Lance**  
my cousin in nyc is living la vida fucking loca up there  
she sent me like 6 videos of the parade

 **Matt**  
God i wish that were me

 

7:18 PM

 **Shiro**  
We made a Pride Pillow Fort with our parents and Adam.  
_[image sent]_

 **Lance**  
u gusysydhysy are so Fucjgng CTUE

 **Shiro**  
_[image sent]_

 **Hunk**  
Dude Adam looks like an absolute unit  
Gay anime glasses? Check  
Inability to sit properly? Perfect  
Rainbow socks? Equipped

 **Pidge**  
hotel? trivago

 **Shiro**  
Goodbye.  
_[image sent]_ _  
_ Keith says hi.

 **Allura**  
HELLO KEITH!!!!!!!!!!

 **Pidge**  
i thought romelle sent that for a second

 **Romelle**  
I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO SAY THAT!!!!!!!

 **Allura**  
Sorry to steal your thunder I'm just PUMPED  
YOUR FORT LOOKS GREAT

 **Shiro**  
It's partially in your honor.  
There's a makeshift crown on top of the fort.  
Keith made it himself.

 **Keith**  
You're such a fucking snake I can't believe this bullshit

 **Allura**  
AGSJSKZHDJD  
KEITH YOU LITTLE COTTONBALL OF LOVE

 **Keith**  
Bye.

 **Allura**  
WAIT  
Look at these pictures Shay and I took at the festival today I want to make you guys jealous  
_[image sent]_ _  
_ _[image sent]_ _  
_ _[image sent]_  
She got her lip gloss all over my face lol

 **Lance**  
keith take notes this is how i want to be showered in attention

 **Romelle**  
ur makeup looks incredible!!! =o  
it's like u guys are sparkling

 **Allura**  
THANK you for noticing  
I tried my hardest to be as extra as possible

 **Hunk**  
AS YOU SHOULD

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

JUN 28 AT 1:03 AM

 **lance** **  
** remember when u called me thotboy

 

1:20 AM

 **keith💕** **  
** I never called you that.  
Why are you up

 **lance** **  
** YES U DID  
im thinkin about someone

 **keith💕** **  
** No I didn't.  
Who are you thinking about

 **lance** **  
** yes u fucking did bitch  
just some really cute guy

 **keith💕** **  
** No I fucking DIDN'T  
Do I know him

 **lance** **  
** u called me thotboy last year on thanksgiving. dont think i just forgot about that shit  
maybe u do know him idk 🙄

 **keith💕** **  
** Whatever, thotboy

 **lance** **  
** HHHZHZHHHDHHHH BLOCKT !!!!

 **keith💕** **  
** I’m gonna find this guy and kick his ass

 **lance** **  
** i havent even said who he is!

 **keith💕** **  
** So then can you describe him

 **lance** **  
** depends  
are u gonna derail and think its shiro again

 **keith💕** **  
** Okay FUCK you that was one time  
And it was a pretty close description!!

 **lance** **  
** yea ok buddy  
i was about as subtle as a gun

 **keith💕**  
Anyway  
Back to this random mysterious guy you're thinking of in the middle of the night

 **lance** **  
** its u hubby

 **keith💕** **  
** Please for the love of fucjk

 **lance** **  
** ok ok ill stop calling u that bdvsjdhjsjd  
since im feeling a shit ton of adrenaline right now im gonna tell u a SECRET

 **keith💕  
** Okay  
Adrenaline from what

 **lance**  
being up so late

 **keith💕**  
Goody 2 shoes ass

 **lance**  
anyways  
ive been planning something

 **keith💕**  
..Okay  
What is it

 **lance**  
its a surprise for u  
ive recruited a few trusted individuals to help me with it

 **keith💕**  
What  
Why are you surprising me with something  
It's your birthday coming up, not mine

 **lance**  
dont remind me  
the thought of being any closer to my 20s makes me gag

 **keith💕**  
Rude

 **lance**  
and i cant just WANT to surprise u??  
i cant just WANT to spontaneously do something big for u???

 **keith💕**  
No

 **lance**  
stingy

 **keith💕**  
When am I gonna know what it is

 **lance**  
the next time krolia visits u lolz

 **keith💕**  
Wtf  
Who else is involved??

 **lance**  
im not telling u tf!!!  
just be patient 😏

 **keith💕**  
Fuck that

 **lance**  
please my honey baby lovely sugar star chocolate milkshake cherry bomb

 **keith💕**  
Fine. Screw you.

 **lance**  
now close those beautiful eyes of urs and have a good nights sleep 💜💜

 **keith💕**  
SHut up you FUCK

 


	4. independence day type beat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to sacrifice like a billion things to our almighty deity Shaggy to get my life together
> 
> anyway. here u go <3

* * *

**Matt > PROUD HOES**

 

JUL 1 AT 8:50 AM

_Matt named the group INDEPENDENT HOES._

**Hunk** **  
** YES  
THAT'S MY MAN

 **Pidge** **  
** is this the first time he's changed the gc name

 **Allura** **  
** It is, and he handled it well

 **Pidge** **  
** okay but honestly the next name was kinda obvious

 **Matt** **  
** You are not allowed to discredit me  
Not when hunk called me his man

 **Pidge** **  
** i'm sighing so fucking hard right now

 

11:49 AM

 **Lance** **  
** shouldve named it LANCE'S HOES considering its my birthday month but watever

 **Matt** **  
** Sorry, my lord

 **Lance** **  
** i wont take ur sorries u silly little white boy

 **Matt** **  
** Plekajskeks. i beg of you.

 **Lance** **  
** never.

 **Matt** **  
** I'll mail you fireworks

 **Lance** **  
** why dont u just drive down here like u did for fathers day  
which, btw, im OFFENDED that i didnt even get a hello

 **Matt** **  
** I was running on a timed schedule!!!

 **Lance**  
which was

 **Matt** **  
** My dad and i were going fishing when i got back home

 **Lance** **  
** u guys went fishing  
at night

 **Pidge** **  
** it sounds ridiculous but they actually did

 **Matt** **  
** We even came across another family fishing  
This state is fucking weird dude  
@Takashi Shirogane how does adam feel about moving here in a month

 **Lance**  
he probably wants to die

 **Allura**  
That poor Texan man

 **Lance**  
never heard that combination of words before

 **Shiro** **  
** He's taking it well.  
He's mostly just been reading all the Florida Man articles with regret.

 **Allura** **  
** Little does he know he's dating the Florida Man

 **Shiro** **  
** Don't tell him that, he'll die.

 

2:10 PM

 **Lance**  
i need u guys to help settle an argument btwn me and allura

 **Pidge**  
are we really the best people for that

 **Lance**  
no but im asking anyways

 **Romelle**  
ooo fun!

 **Lance**  
whos the more boring texter: keith or shiro

 **Shiro**  
What?

 **Matt**  
Keith

 **Keith**  
I will literally kick your ass

 **Hunk**  
Neither of them are boring!

 **Keith**  
I will literally marry you

 **Lance**  
ok let me rephrase  
who is the BLANDER texter  
who is more blase. blunt.  
unbuttered toast.  
syrupless pancakes.

 **Keith**  
*Waffles

 **Lance**  
im about to fucking defend ur honor and ur hung up on the waffles v pancakes debate

 **Keith**  
Yeah

 **Lance**  
smh

 **Allura**  
That seemed like a pretty bland response to me  
Just saying

 **Lance**  
ok but he makes it kind of funny  
shiro wouldve been like “Yes, of course. Fax that file to my office printer as soon as possible, Carl.”

 **Shiro**  
I do not talk like that.

 **Lance**  
shiro u sound like the embodiment of times new roman font size 12

 **Shiro**  
Hm. Screw you perhaps.

 **Allura**  
But Shiro does often add variety to his texts, such as he did just now  
He may SEEM bland...but he switches up in the moments we least expect him to  
Keith has little bursts of variety if he’s provoked but remains bland for the most part

 **Lance**  
keith is way more spontaneous than that  
id argue that shiro and keith share the same level of variety but express it in radically different quantities

 **Allura**  
I can see where you’re coming from with that argument  
Are you insinuating that Shiro provides variety in periodical outliers?

 **Lance**  
WHILE KEITH IS STEADIER AND IN LESS EXTREMITY BUT MORE FREQUENT YES  
NOW WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE

 **Allura**  
And because of the frequency at which Keith breaks away from his blunt voice, it only seems as though Shiro was the more bland of the two

 **Lance**  
when in REALITY shiro overcompensates by going the extra mile

 **Allura**  
Exactly!

 **Shiro**  
Okay. What the fuck.

 **Pidge**  
this was like being punched in the stomach four different times

 **Keith**  
Why are our texts being put under a microscope right now

 **Lance**  
well im not sure u know this but...i like to read between the lines ;)

 **Keith**  
You didn’t know I had feelings for you for 8 fucking months

 **Lance**  
again, im defending u and im feeling very attacked right now

 **Keith**  
...Sorry  
If it makes you feel any better I thought you talking all smart was kind of cute

 **Lance**  
!!!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!!!

 **Pidge**  
if we’re still voting, i choose shiro

 **Shiro**  
I’m just gonna go crawl into a hole and die then.

 **Pidge**  
sjhfsfhskj i’m changing my vote to keith

 **Hunk**  
Still choose neither

 **Matt**  
Keith

 **Romelle**  
i say keith as well!!

 **Keith**  
Are you f,ffcking  
I REARRANGED MY ENTIRE SCHEDULE FOR YOU

 **Romelle**  
lov u for that but u CAN be quite bland.  
shiro humors me!!

 **Shiro**  
It’s nice to know I was a good mentor to you kids because clearly you have common sense.

 **Keith**  
Go eat your gross ass gatorade smoothie Shiro

 **Allura**  
So I guess everything we just said went right over everyone’s head, huh

 **Pidge**  
i agreed with you guys i just wanted to antagonize them

 **Lance**  
aaaand since apparently we have a winner  
i would like to offer a dare

 **Keith**  
A dare.  
To do what.

 **Lance**  
u have to text us like a 16 yr old’s twitter account for 3 days

 **Keith**  
You’re a demon and I’m not doing that.

 **Lance**  
oowhh......is da wittle boy scawed?

 **Keith**  
What th fuck

 **Lance**  
its ok babey...i know its a wittle too much to handew....

 **Keith**  
Lance I swear to god,

 **Lance**  
i get it if ur not man enough to follow thru  
but whatever :/ i withdraw the dare

 **Keith**  
T MHRFKFK  
I’LL DO IT  
I’M GOING TO DO IT

 **Lance**  
ladies and gentlemen  
we got em.

 

* * *

**Adam Wakefield > Takashi Shirogane**

 

4:10 PM

 **Adam**  
why did keith just tell me that my heart is dummy thicc.

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Hunk Garrett**

 

JUL 2 AT 10:46 AM

 **Lance**  
pls come over i miss u so much

 **Hunk**  
We hung out last night

 **Lance**  
ok  
and

 **Hunk**  
Good point

 

* * *

**Keith > Takashi, Adam, Keith**

 

10:50 AM

 **Keith**  
Do NOT put cumin in your chicken when you come over tonight I fucking hate it

 **Takashi**  
I’m begging you to reread your texts just once before you send them.

 **Adam**  
cumin is good.

 **Keith**  
It makes me die

 **Takashi**  
I think the cumin makes his chicken better.  
Dad likes it that way too.

 **Keith**  
PLEASE.

 **Takashi**  
Uh, Keith.  
Your dare?

 **Keith**  
🅱️lease

 **Adam**  
ohh this must be torture for you. i love it.

 **Keith**  
Ummm peasant ?  
Eat dirt you one dimensional oreo thinnie

 **Adam**  
what, . what the fuck does that mean.

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

JUL 3 AT 9:13 AM

 **lance**  
morning 😘❤

 

9:21 AM

 **keith💕**  
Hey  
Surprised you're up this early

 **lance**  
well todays a pretty important day  
so why wouldnt i be!!

 **keith💕**  
?? Independence Day is tomorrow

 

9:55 AM

 **lance**  
nevermind  
can i call you later

 **keith💕**  
I'll be busy  
Leave a voicemail

 **lance**  
very funny im howling with laughter

 **keith💕**  
Just saying

 **lance**  
do you really not know what today is

 **keith💕**  
Should I

 **lance**  
i mean  
no? but it would be nice if u did

 **keith💕**  
Well I don't

 **lance**  
forget it i guess  
what time can i call you

 

10:20 AM

 **keith💕**  
Okay fuck it I can't do this  
I ordered a bouquet of hydrangeas for you last week  
They should be arriving around 6 p.m. today  
And another delivery should be coming in around 8

 **lance**  
@!!%@!%!  
THANK CHRIST U SAID THIS  
I WAS ABOUT TO EDIT MY BOUQUET ORDER

 **keith💕**  
You were sending me flowers too???

 **lance**  
yes its classic and u deserve it  
and i........also have another delivery being sent to u today  
i didnt wanna go like overboard or anything but

 **keith💕**  
Listen I know that celebrations are important to you  
And you're important to me  
And I tried to do that thing where you trick the person into thinking you don't remember and then surprise them  
But you sounded sad and it,  
fucked my whole plan up

 **lance**  
i want 2 SCREAM  
bbaby boy im gonna squish ur cheeks and kiss ur thicc forehead

 **keith💕**  
Please stop talking like a fetish account I'm trying not to lose my goddamn marbles  
This is why I need a fucking dog it's the only thing that would keep me sane

 **lance** **  
** hhhoooooo boy  
ur gonna knock me dead one day keith

 

* * *

**Romelle > INDEPENDENT HOES**

 

12:00 PM

 **Romelle**  
mr. matthias  
matt attack  
mathematics holt  
mattman and robin

 **Matt**  
I am so confused

 **Romelle**  
i was just thinking that ur name is very moldable!!  
it could have so many nicknames  
unlike “romelle” =/

 **Matt**  
I see your claim and i raise you  
Bromelle

 **Romelle**  
!!!!!!!!!@!!!! OMG

 **Hunk**  
Romantic Sommers

 **Romelle**  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Allura**  
Hoemelle

 **Romelle**  
INDEPENDENT HOEMELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

* * *

**Hunk Garrett > Keith Kogane**

 

9:24 PM

 **Hunkatron** **  
** So how do you feel about the fingerless gloves Lance got you

 **Keithinator**  
They;re fucking dope  
They match my favorite jacket

 **Hunkatron**  
What did you get for Lance? He hasn’t msged me yet

 **Keithinator** **  
** The Alien vs Predator movie collection

 **Hunkatron** **  
** Hmm...the dare, Keith

 **Keithinator** **  
** **FIRST MONTH ANNIVERSARY SPOILERS** Omg he literally just?? screamed and called me and we talked for like 2 hours??? HE LOVED IT I'M FUCKIGNG SHAKKIGNGGGG

 

* * *

**Pidge > INDEPENDENT HOES**

 

JUL 4 AT 9:55 AM

 **Pidge**  
happy birthday america

 **Hunk**  
This country is so amazing and wonderfusdlksj God I couldn’t even keep a straight face

 **Keith**  
Like FUCK America, but if it comes through with social equity and equal wealth distribution then homeboy's gonna like...get it

 **Lance**  
keith ii have never been so fuckibg happy about a dare in my life but u do realize that yesterday was the last day righttksjfkjsks

 **Keith** **  
** Shut up

 **Allura** **  
** I don't associate with America I just live here

 **Keith** **  
** You're not even allowed to disassociate from America because you all live in its worst state

 **Lance** **  
** i thought it was the other way around

 **Keith** **  
** Wow

 **Lance** **  
** actually u know what florida is kinda bad

 **Hunk** **  
** “Kinda”

 **Lance** **  
** everyone that lives in florida but actually has a good heart is valid  
so we're valid  
except pidge

 **Pidge** **  
** how DARE you  
i have a heart it's just made out of stainless steel

 **Allura** **  
** It's weird to think about how Keith is the only one who doesn't actually...live here

 **Keith** **  
** Good.

 **Lance** **  
** not good!!!  
it means i have to miss u more than anyone else!!

 **Keith** **  
** One more word out of you and I'm snapping my phone in half

 **Lance** **  
** that means i made him blush guys

 **Romelle** **  
** awwwww he DOES have a heart 💞

 **Keith** **  
** Goodnight.

 **Shiro** **  
** It's ten in the morning.

 **Allura** **  
** My God, he's turning into Hunk

 **Hunk** **  
** YOU SHUT UP

 

* * *

**matte > science sluts**

 

12:49 PM

 **matte**  
So i've decided i want to become an instagram makeup artist

 **pidger**  
christ

 **hunkle**  
You don't do makeup as well as Lance

 **pidger**  
dude i accidentally knocked over lance’s serum thingy a few weeks ago and he looked at me like i killed his mom

 **matte** **  
** What the hell does serum have to do with makeup

 **pidger** **  
** not the serum you're thinking of

 **matte** **  
** Okay then

 **hunkle** **  
** You were the one that changed your nickname to “matte” in this groupchat and you don't even know all the components of full face makeup!!

 **matte** **  
** Okay but that's different!!  
Serum is part of face care, not makeup

 **hunkle** **  
** Face care ties directly INTO makeup

 **matte** **  
**...You have a good point but i still want to do the thing where they look at a makeup product and then shake their finger at the camera

 **hunkle** **  
** You can go ahead and do that but I'll be shaking my head from the sidelines

 **matte** **  
** You're supposed to SUPPORT ME

 **hunkle** **  
** IT WOULD FEEL LIKE A BETRAYAL TO LANCE IF I DID THAT

 **matte** **  
** Wow

 **pidger** **  
** are you guys seriously gonna have your first fight over matt wanting to be a fucking meme

 **matte** **  
** No because i'm giving up my dream to be an instagram mua to make him happy

 **pidger** **  
** you decided on that dream like 2 minutes ago

 **hunkle** **  
** God you're so romantic  
Take me on a ride in one of those swan boats

 **matte** **  
** Only if you promise to let me help you study information theory and signal processing when you come back next month 💚

 **pidge** **  
** you two never fail to make me just ??? question ???? everything ??????????

 

* * *

**Takashi Shirogane > Keith Kogane**

 

JUL 12 AT 9:23 AM

 **Shiro**  
So  
When you get home, there’s something I want to talk to you about.

 **Keith**  
Is this about the cookies

 **Shiro**  
No, it’s not about the fucking cookies.

 **Keith**  
You sound like you’re still mad

 **Shiro**  
It is not about the cookies.

 **Keith**  
They were just raisins dude

 **Shiro**  
I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE GODDAMN COOKIES.

 **Keith**  
Okay kid

 **Shiro**  
Ignoring that.  
It’s a little more serious, no pressure.

 **Keith**  
Alright whatever

 

2:20 PM

 **Keith** **  
** So you're telling me you were just gonna let me talk all that shit about Florida knowing you were gonna ask me to move in with you

 **Shiro** **  
** Technically, I said you could move in with me after you graduate.  
So you won't be a Floridian for two more years.

 **Keith** **  
** THAT'S NOT THE POINT

 

* * *

**Veronica > No Boyz Allowed**

 

JUL 16 AT 3:06 PM

 **Veronica**  
been thinking about what each of our mobile phone carriersonas would be

 **Pidge**  
what the hell did you just make me read

 **Allura**  
Not many carriers to choose from

 **Romelle**  
verizon mcclain lol

 **Pidge**  
allura alT-Mobile

 **Veronica**  
Romelle Sprint

 **Allura**  
AT&T Quintana

 **Acxa**  
What are we talking about right now

 **Veronica**  
Acxa what’s your fursona

 **Acxa**  
My fur what  
I have no fur  
Not anymore

 **Pidge**  
okay this was all fun and games but now i’m genuinely terrified

 

* * *

**Acxa Quintana > Veronica McClain**

 

3:25 PM

 **Acxa**  
What’s a fursona  
Ezor told me to search it up but Zethrid’s vehemently telling me not to

 **Veronica**  
I’m sorry but I’m legally not allowed to explain that to you

 **Acxa**  
Fine  
I’ll ask Lotor

 **Veronica**  
I don't think that's a good idea

 **Acxa**  
I'm gonna

 **Veronica**  
ACXA

 

* * *

**Acxa Quintana > Lotor Galra**

 

3:29 PM

 **Acxa**  
Hey bitchboy  
I know you know what a fursona is

 **Lotor**  
Get OUT of my inbox.

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

JUL 20 AT 12:10 PM

 **lance** **  
** so............  
krolia just rolled into ur town last night  
did u 👀 happen to 👀 come across 👀 anything 👀👀👀

 **keith💕** **  
** No  
She's coming over at 3 today

 

3:14 PM

 **keith💕**  
LANCJE WHAt theFFUCKFKFJKK  
FFUCSFKJSWFSFJLKSL

 **lance** **  
** so im guessing u liked the surprise

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ima keep it 100 with you guys,, it is honestly so freeing to finally be writing keith and lance as a couple.
> 
> fun fact: keith and lance were originally supposed to get together in chapter 23 of tmtmw but i was just like "no if im making this a slow burn we're gonna fucking burn alive" and here we are


	5. cotton candy birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. hello
> 
> it feels like its been 10 years since i updated this fic but its barely been 2 months. it took a while to get it out because i went from fulltime college to a fulltime job to 2 part time jobs so i was very Discombobulated, on top of some writer's block. updates are still gonna be a little spaced out but i really wanted to post this because you guys are so sweet and my heart is so full every time i read your comments.

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Katelyn Holt**

 

JUL 20 AT 3:25 PM

 **red light** **  
**

# LANCE GOT ME A FUCKING DOG.

 **green light**  
how the hell did you do that

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Lance McClain**

 

3:16 PM

 **keith💕**  
Fcuk

 **lance**  
SO  
TELL ME WHATS GOING THRU UR HEAD

 

3:45 PM

 **keith💕**  
He’s so fucking little I’m gonna cry

 **lance**  
thats what she said lmao

 **keith💕**  
Oh my fgod oh my god ohmyo godod  
_[image sent]_ _  
_ _[image sent]_ _  
_ HE’S SPO FUCKING TINY

 **lance**  
u shouldve seen him when ur mom first got him  
he was so small!!!!!!!!!

 **keith💕**  
WHAT IS HIS NAME  
SHE SAID YOU WOULD KNOW

 **lance**  
thats just because she wanted to name him yorak so i told her the shelter already gave me his name  
but i dont actually know what it is  
its up to u to decide

 **keith💕**  
I’ll just wait til he tells me

 **lance**  
til he what now

 **keith💕**  
Until he tells me what he wants to be called

 **lance**  
..............babe.

 **keith💕**  
What

 **lance**  
anyway hunk said the name kosmo sounds nice  
and i agree with him so  
just sayin

 **keith💕**  
I have a question

 **lance**  
yes my honey baby sugar cherry bomb

 **keith💕**  
How did you orchestrate all of this  
Getting me this dog

 **lance**  
oof  
thats a loaded question

 **keith💕**  
He’s on my lap oh mygod oh ymf

 **lance**  
im lowkey jealous

 **keith💕**  
ANSWER MY QUESTION

 **lance**  
OK  
honestly hunk deserves way more credit for this than i do

 **keith💕**  
Hunk??

 **lance**  
i asked him to maybe kinda sorta help me put together a savings account to like  
buy a puppy  
so as we raised the money i asked your mom to go windowshopping for puppies or dogs and she pretty much fell in love with him at first sight  
we gave her the dough and she bought him a few weeks ago  
then i told shiro about it while he was planning to ask u to move in with him

 **keith💕**  
You KNEW ABOUT THAT

 **lance**  
so THEN  
ur moms been taking care of the dog but i asked if shiro would be ok with taking him if u agreed to do it and he said yeah  
and here we are

 **keith💕**  
Okay wow what the fuck

 **lance**  
apparently shiros going to have a crowded ass apartment by the time u graduate

 **keith💕**  
He’s moving to a townhouse next year

 **lance**  
shut the front door thats awesome

 **keith💕**  
I HAVE EVEN MORE QUESTIONS NOW

 **lance**  
well i like to keep my men in suspense ;)

 **keith💕**  
You’re the worst  
You knew I was possibly moving in with Shiro for an entire month  
A fucking month

 **lance**  
do u even know how much restraint it took not to tell u

 **keith💕**  
And you got Hunk, Shiro, and my parents to agree to get Kosmo

 **lance**  
yes!

 **keith💕**  
Hold on  
I just  
uuegh

 **lance**  
its ok take ur time

 **keith💕**  
You really don’t understand how amazing you are

 **lance**  
hoooooooo boyjkfjh  
is it gay in here or is it just me

 

* * *

**Hunk Garrett > Lance McClain**

 

4:23 PM

 **Hunk**  
KEITH JUST CALLED ME AND TOLD ME HE LOVES ME  
THAT SNEAKY BITCH  
HE KNEW I WOULD SCREENSHOT IT IF HE TEXTED ME

 

* * *

**Takashi > Takashi, Adam, Keith**

 

JUL 21 AT 9:50 AM

 **Takashi**  
Just booked our flight.  
Please do not sneak a gatorade onto the plane like you did last time.

 **Keith**  
The security at the airport sucks

 **Adam**  
that's just because florida's a shit state.

 **Keith** **  
** You can't say that now that you live there  
Loser

 **Adam** **  
** i will fucking ground you.

 **Takashi** **  
** And can you PLEASE promise you won't spoil the surprise to Lance.

 **Keith** **  
** Adam's bad at keeping secrets

 **Adam**  
I LITERALLY AM NOT.

 **Keith**  
Omg can u like not :/

 **Takashi**  
I was talking to you, Keith.

 **Adam**  
HA

 **Keith**  
What  
How would I spoil the surprise

 **Takashi**  
All it took was one little pout from Lance and you blabbered about everything you got him for your anniversary.  
As of right now he still doesn't know we're coming back to Florida early and I need you to be stronger this time.

 **Keith**  
That's not a valid example

 **Takashi**  
It is. Sorry not sorry :/

 **Keith**  
Can you two stop talking like teenagers it’s so eery

 **Takashi**  
Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you all had a whole language dedicated to your age group.

 **Adam**  
you can’t say that now that you’re about to turn twenty.

 **Keith**  
That’s not for another year

 **Adam**  
your birthday is in three months.

 **Keith**  
What  
No it’s not  
It cannot be that close already

 

10:40 AM

 **Keith**  
FUCK

 

* * *

**Veronica McClain > Acxa Quintana**

 

JUL 24 AT 1:20 PM

 **Veronica**  
have you had anything to eat yet

 **Acxa**  
This is a trick question

 **Veronica**  
answer the question, sucker.

 **Acxa**  
I have not

 **Veronica**  
great  
now I have to come over and beat you up for malnourishing yourself

 **Acxa**  
I don’t skip breakfast often  
Just today

 **Veronica**  
and yesterday

 **Acxa**  
Well

 **Veronica**  
and the day before  
should I go on?

 **Acxa**  
You sound like a mother

 **Veronica**  
no I think you just feel infantilized

 **Acxa**  
Oh  
How do you read me so well

 **Veronica**  
we’re both latina I know how your mind works

 **Acxa**  
Your logic doesn't make sense

 **Veronica** **  
** but it does, doesn't it

 **Acxa** **  
** No

 **Veronica** **  
** as in "no, it makes perfect sense"

 **Acxa** **  
** It does NOT

 **Veronica** **  
** it does Not Not make perfect sense

 **Acxa** **  
**?????????WHAT

 **Veronica** **  
** eat your fucking breakfast

 

* * *

**Allura > INDEPENDENT HOES**

 

JUL 26 AT 12:05 PM

 **Allura**  
Going to Mcdonalds  
Does anyone want anything

 **Lance**  
serotonin

 **Allura**  
Lance I'm fucking broke

 **Keith**  
Can I get some babyback ribs

 **Allura**  
I said Mcdonalds, Keith

 **Keith**  
Yeah and I want babyback ribs

 **Matt**  
I want some fries

 **Allura**  
Simple and to the point  
Thank you, Matt

 **Matt**  
My pleasure  
Can you please make it a venti

 **Keith**  
Why the hell would she turn your fries into an air vent

 **Lance**  
#@%#^&*$

 **Pidge**  
i want ice cream.

 **Hunk**  
McDonald's doesn't serve ice cream

 **Shiro**  
Yes it does??

 **Hunk**  
No it doesn't!!

 **Romelle**  
it's tru, they don't  
R.I.P. ice cream machine 🙏😔

 **Pidge**  
then fuck mcdonald's  
i don't want shit

 **Shiro**  
I want a black coffee.

 **Keith**  
Oh what's next? Are you gonna compare it to your soul? You quirky bitch?

 **Shiro**  
WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?

 **Lance**  
hes still mad that everyone voted him as the more boring texter

 **Keith**  
I'm really not. Even though you're all fucking wrong

 **Matt** **  
** Oh my GOD i thought that said “vored”

 **Allura  
**Of course you did

 **Keith**  
Shiro’s a wannabe emo

 **Pidge**  
no i think that's just the depression

 **Lance**  
story of my life

 

* * *

**Romelle > PROUD HOES**

 

JUL 28 AT 12:00 AM

_Romelle named the group LANCE'S HOES._

**Lance** **  
** im gonna cry

 

* * *

**Hunk Garrett > Lance McClain**

 

12:00 AM

 **Hunk**  
Ily ily ily ily ily ilyktltkflfkgk 💖💓💞💝💕💘💓💖💞💝💓💖💞💝💓💝

 **Lance** **  
** fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuck that noise i love u way more

 

* * *

**Katelyn Holt > Lance McClain**

 

12:00 AM

 **pidgeypidge**  
happy birthday  
ily. or whatever

 **lanceylance**  
pidge sed they wuv me

 **pidgeypidge**  
the block button looks mighty fucking delicious right now.

 

* * *

**Takashi Shirogane > Lance McClain**

 

12:01 AM

 **papi juan** **  
** Happy birthday!

 **Lance** **  
** oh u kind, soft man  
🥰🤗

 **papi juan**  
How does it feel to be at the end of your teen years?

 **Lance** **  
** do NOT place the concept of my own mortality before my very eyes thank u very much

 

* * *

**Allura Altea > Lance McClain**

 

12:01 AM

 **princesa** **  
** Happy birthday, my prince 💙💙

 **lance**  
remember that old video of the guy freaking out over a double rainbow  
thats how i feel when i think of u

 **princesa**  
SHUT UP

 

* * *

**Matthew Holt > Lance McClain**

 

12:02 AM

 **mattyfuckingsmokes**  
Happy birthday  
Wish u were here 😔

 **lancefuckingvapes**  
everyone does  
im kidding i love u man

 **mattyfuckingsmokes**  
Everyone does

 **lancefuckingvapes**  
ok thats enough im the only one allowed to be arrogant today

 

* * *

**Lance > LANCE’S HOES**

 

12:03 AM

 **Lance**  
thank u for all ur beautiful contributions

 **Hunk**  
Always

 **Romelle**  
their beautiful wat

 **Lance**  
their happy birthdays to me

 **Romelle**  
WHAT >=O  
NO ONE TOLD ME WE WERE SAYING IT TO U PRIVATELY!!!!!!!  
I MISSED THE MIDNIGHT MARK!!!!

 

* * *

**Romelle Sommers > Lance McClain**

 

12:04 AM

 **bromelle**  
H A P P Y  B I R T H D A Y  L A N C E ! ! ! ! ! =DDD <3<3

 **thelanceman!**  
im cryfijnkdjgn

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

12:05 AM

 **lance**  
AHEM..................

 

12:08 AM

 **keith💕**  
I’m not saying it to you yet

 **lance**  
wtf  
WHY NOT

 **keith** 💕  
I’m just not.

 **lance**  
this day belongs to me and u have to do whatever i say

 **keith💕**  
No

 **lance**  
I SHOULD NOT BE TELLING U TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

 **keith💕**  
So don’t

 **lance**  
im.......gonna give you your space and you better have your head on straight by the morning. goodbye.

 

* * *

**Keith > LANCE’S HOES**

 

7:48 AM

 **Keith**  
Which one of you is going to pick us up  
We almost lost Kosmo in baggage claim and I wanna get out of here before Shiro’s blood pressure skyrockets

 **Matt**  
...........................Dude

 **Pidge**  
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.

 **Keith**  
Yes what the hell’s the problem  
Did Matt’s bummy car break down again

 **Matt**  
Alright first of all, the disrespect,

 **Hunk**  
You guys are a mess I’m not associating with any of you anymore

 **Keith**  
I’m confused who’s going to pick us up then

 **Pidge**  
KEITH CAN YOU MAYBE PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE.

 **Keith**  
WHO IS PICKING US UP

 **Allura**  
Keith  
Look at the group name.

 

7:54 AM

 **Keith**  
Oh

 **Shiro**  
I was in the bathroom while he sent those texts so it’s not my fault.

 

8:15 AM

 **Lance**  
AKDFHSDJGLSJSFK;LSJL;JFSFKSDSKDKJLFJSDKJL’

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

8:16 AM

 **lance**  
I KNEWWWWWWWWWW IT  
I KNEW IT I NKNEW IT I KENWKW IT

 **keith**  
Lance

 **lance**  
I WAS LIKE THERES NO WAY HES BEING A JERK TO ME TODAY OF ALL DAYS  
HE HAS TO BE PLANNING SOMETHING  
BREAKING ME DOWN TO BUILD ME UP LIKE WE ALWAYS DO TO EACH OTHER

 **keith**  
CAN YOU JUST FORGET THAT WHOLE ORDEAL UNTIL LIKE 6 TONIGHT

 **lance**  
god fine  
wait thats when my birthday party starts  
ARE U GONNA BE AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY

 **keith**  
BYE.

 **lance**  
AAAAAAAAAAAAKLDSLSKSLK

 

* * *

**allora > Disgustening.**

 

11:02 AM

 **allora**  
I'm so excited!!!!!

 **honk**  
Ah yes, a nineteenth birthday is always special

 **shoro**  
I don't even remember mine.

 **mott**  
That's because it was twenty years ago

 **shoro**  
You snake bitch.

 

* * *

**Keith Kogane > Lance McClain**

 

11:08 AM

 **keith**  
Did you take away the hearts next to my name

 

11:15 AM

 **lance**  
i was really mad ok

 

* * *

**Allura Altea > Shay Balmera**

 

5:01 PM

 **Allura**  
Did you bring pink cakepops??

 **Shay**  
uh. yes,  
how did you see those.

 **Allura**  
They were in the backseat of Matt’s car  
Lance said he wanted the theme's secondary color to be gray  
Besides, pink's more my color

 **Shay**  
hyea thats right, the cakepops.  
the cakepops for lance. the cakepops designed specifically for lance and no one else. lance's cakepops.

 **Allura**  
Shay I've told you time and time again that taking those 5 hour energy shots are no good for your anxiety

 **Shay**  
YEP. I KNOW.

 

* * *

**Shay Balmera > Hunk Garrett**

 

5:05 PM

 **Shay**  
pink alert!! pink alert!!!

 **Hunk**  
WHAT

 **Shay**  
ALLURA SAW THE CAKEPOPS YOU MADE.  
SHE MIGHT BE ONTO US.

 **Hunk**  
CHRIST  
Can ANYBODY keep a secret in this goddamn group of friends

 **Shay**  
>:o hey!!

 **Hunk**  
I'm sorry it was wrong of me to take my frustration out on you when I know it’s not your fault

 **Shay**  
it’s okay it’s physically impossible for me to be mad at you especially knowing how much stress you’ve been under to make this day perfect for lance

 **Hunk**  
I love you so much

 

* * *

**Pidge > LANCE'S HOES**

 

5:43 PM

 **Pidge**  
hey allura did you see anything strange when you got to the dance hall

 **Allura**  
IISID THSIS GORJF

 **Pidge**  
okay good.

_Pidge named the group LANCE AND ALLURA'S HOES._

**Hunk**  
Surprise motherfucker :)

 **Allura**  
THE CAKE IS HALF PINK HALF BLUE

 **Hunk**  
Your half is strawberry cake with vanilla frosting of course  
Lance's is vanilla cake with dulce de leche frosting

 **Lance**  
FUCK YES

 **Matt**  
We told you to stay off your phone!!!! wtf!!!!!

 **Lance**  
its my birthday bitch i do what i want

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

6:09 PM

 **lance**  
where tf are u  
the partys about to start

 **keith**  
Not until I walk in

 **lance**  
im honestly considering breaking up with u over that joke

 

6:15 PM

 **lance**  
I SEE U  
TURN AROUND  
OH MY GOD UR SO BEAUTIFUL

 **keith**  
Get OFF your FUCKING PHONE

 

* * *

**Shiro > LANCE AND ALLURA’S HOES**

 

8:19 PM

 **Shiro**  
Where are you guys??  
We’re singing happy birthday in ten minutes and NEITHER BIRTHDAY PERSON IS ANYWHERE TO BE FOUND.

 **Matt**  
We’re having an uno tournament in the basement lol

 **Shiro**  
WITHOUT ME?

 

11:53 PM

 **Shiro** **  
** Please tell me Romelle is sober.

 **Allura** **  
** Uhhhhhhhh

 **Hunk** **  
** Does she...not appear sober to you?

 **Romelle** **  
** truthfully the matter of the fact is not that i am inebriated but that my mind is upon an elevated position in our universe, touching the curtains of our galaxy that hide us from the vast unknown and reaching towards a greater meaning and indefinite path that the human consciousness has not yet reached the ability to comprehend.

 **Shiro** **  
** I'm calling the cops.

 **Lance** **  
** THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Keith Kogane**

 

11:56 PM

_lance set the nickname for keith to keith❤._

 

* * *

**Lance McClain > Acxa Quintana**

 

JUL 30 AT 1:03 PM

 **Lance** **  
** hey ocksha

 **Acxa** **  
** Hi  
Why did you spell my name like that

 **Lance** **  
** like what

 **Acxa** **  
** Never mind

 **Lance** **  
** listen i need ur help

 **Acxa**  
Okay  
With what

 **Lance** **  
** can u lend me ur car for 2 hours every monday thru thursday until the end of august

 **Acxa** **  
** No

 **Lance** **  
** ill give u tips on how to woo veronica

 **Acxa** **  
** Deal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haaaaaa ok. will admit it was really fun to get back into the groove of writing these
> 
> feel free to scream to me on my [tumblr](http://ribosomegirl.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> dont throw tomatoes at me pls
> 
> tumblr [here](http://ribosomegirl.tumblr.com/)


End file.
